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  • little eyes

    October 27, 2019 by

    Matthew 18:6 “But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea.” My eyes can’t unsee it. The video looked innocent enough … one… Read more

  • we’ve gotcha

    September 17, 2019 by

    The stout and stern, dark-haired judge scared the living heck out of us. She fired one question after another and the sweat beaded on Craig’s head. The kind translator had warned us ahead of time not to look at herself, but to look only at the judge, when it was time for the translator to… Read more

  • revelations from a road trip

    August 22, 2019 by

    “Did you leave yet?” I frantically asked. “Please don’t go, we’ve been robbed!” The minute we saw that our window had been smashed and our car broken into, I called our son, who was in another vehicle with our daughter, his wife and mother and father in-law, leaving from the same parking lot as us.… Read more

  • the essence of big love

    June 28, 2019 by

    The risk of loving big is that big goodbyes can wreck you. If you’ve lived long enough, you’ve experienced it. The reverberating pain of saying goodbye to someone you love dearly. I’ve been to more funerals than I can count. My beloved father passed away when I was a teen, and three more people I… Read more

  • ineffable

    June 7, 2019 by

    My worst fear had been realized. When I heard his feet hit the floor and his bedroom door open, I knew I didn’t have time to move or hide. I was caught. “Hey!” he said. “What are you doing?” “I’m just looking for something I dropped earlier,” I whispered (and lied). He was practically sleep-walking… Read more

  • build a bridge

    May 2, 2019 by

    Trying to wing the toast at my son’s wedding last May was a horrible idea. Once I had the microphone and looked out at that historic, lakefront ballroom full of cherished family and friends, I felt an uncomfortable lump forming in my throat. When I turned to address the bride and groom, the swelling mysteriously… Read more

  • one single word

    April 16, 2019 by

    What was going on? Yes, they lost the game and I knew he was extremely disappointed, but this sophomore in high school and quarterback of the football team was not one to cry in public. I was working the concession stand, selling snacks and laughing with other parents and the abundance of those that always… Read more

  • the true you

    January 26, 2019 by

    I sat poolside in this Mexican resort town and noticed a tingling clearness in my head and my breathing start to slow down and get deeper. It felt like a watch that had been ticking too fast, suddenly being reset to the correct tempo – an invisible rebooting of my soul. I recently heard the… Read more

  • an unbreakable bond

    January 14, 2019 by

    I rolled over restlessly at the first morning light and spotted the thick, folded pile of papers that had been pushed under my door.  My heart dropped to my feet and I jumped up to grab them.  For an eighth of a second I thought – did he run away? did he hurt himself? –… Read more

  • a legacy of love

    December 18, 2018 by

    What do you think people will say about you after you’re gone?  What do you want to be remembered for? What will your legacy be? Back in high school, my classmates and I once had a homework assignment to write our own obituaries.  I remember hating that requirement and feeling that it was extremely morbid,… Read more

  • my happy place

    November 26, 2018 by

    Seeing his arm, waving like a windshield wiper out of his enormous truck, woke me from my buoyant reverie.  I was singing along to “Beautiful” by MercyMe with Marina by my side, and admiring the bright sun, fall colors and cornflower blue sky, when we slowed to make a left turn. There was unending traffic… Read more

  • a wing and a prayer

    October 19, 2018 by

    Being petrified of flying has it’s advantages. Okay, yes, certainly “advantages” is an overstatement, but there is ONE reason that I’m thankful for my intense fear. When I’m up in the clouds and my heart is hammering in my chest, I can pray to God for hours on end, which is exactly what I did… Read more

  • your people

    September 25, 2018 by

    She looked breathtaking in her wedding dress. And when her nine bridesmaids danced through the bedroom door to get a first glimpse, many of their eyes filled with tears. They were so happy for her and overcome with joy to see their dear friend in the gown that she would soon be married in. Hosting… Read more

  • point to the son

    March 28, 2018 by

    Today is my middle child’s twenty-first birthday.  Only yesterday, I was dragging myself around the supermarket in tears because it was his first week of kindergarten and I felt like both of my arms were missing.  Two kids now in school and I walked in circles for a few weeks until I figured out my new normal. Today,… Read more

  • a chain reaction

    January 4, 2018 by

    No sooner had the words come rushing out of my mouth that I saw a single, fat tear roll down her cheek.  My heart pounded as she looked at me with skeptical eyes. A few months ago, I had been in this same shoe store and noticed that the young woman working seemed very upset.… Read more

  • the last turn home

    July 6, 2017 by

    As we finally rounded the corner onto our street, the yearning and anticipation I’d felt for the last ten days couldn’t be contained for one second longer.  In our driveway, I left everything in the car and ran through the deep snow to the front door and flung it open. My little boy had been… Read more

  • a fine line

    March 18, 2017 by

    There’s a fine line between joy and despair, laughter and tears, the truth and a lie, life and even death.  We should’ve seen it coming, we already knew we were on very thin ice. Especially after our agency was shut down by the U.S. State Department in December, but still, we had hope.  Looking back… Read more

  • our bodies, our vehicles

    January 17, 2017 by

    I drove my daughter to school today in our well used, deep blue Honda Odyssey van.  It’s rusted in a few spots, dented in the rear from our sons’ drivers ed days, and smelly from transporting dogs and sweaty ball players, wet snow boots, pants and skis, bathing suits and God knows what else. That… Read more

  • out of the mouths of my babies

    December 13, 2016 by

    He sat up in bed after I kissed him and tucked him in and said very sweetly, “Mom, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but you smell bad at night.  I don’t know why, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings.” Later I gargled with mouthwash and put some perfume on and went… Read more

  • the dash that is our life

    August 2, 2016 by

    Yesterday, I visited the cemetery where my dad was laid to rest in 1985.  I hadn’t planned to stop there, but construction and a wrong turn after dropping my mom at the airport led me on an adventure through the city of Chicago, and then to the highway that passed his exit. I settled in… Read more

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